The basic human need for belonging and acceptance motivates a considerable amount of human behavior. We need to be loved, and we sometimes believe that the only way to get this love is to be significant or important enough to get it.
There is a problem though; being important or significant does not create love, it creates dependence. If dependence is a factor, then it is not truly love. You are no longer freely cultivating loving actions, but you are depending on the other person for something. This may feel like love at first, but don’t be fooled. Love is a choice. We choose whom we love and how much we love them. More importantly, however, we must simply love ourselves.
I believe that this concept is the reason so many people strive for acceptance and approval. People need to feel important and significant in order to feel as though they are deserving of love. Love is a basic human need, but it is also something that cannot be built on dependence. So this need to be important or significant is faulty.
In order to cultivate true love in any relationship you must be daring enough to be yourself, and this means you must forgo the need for approval.The very definition of approval is to accept something as satisfactory. Really? Satisfactory. What about great? What about amazing? What about spectacular?
We are all running around trying to get “approval” from each other in order to feel important, but we’re really just selling ourselves short. Missing out on the wonderful adventure of life. This need for approval can be so crippling. It literally keeps some people from reaching outside of their comfort zone and taking the massive action that is needed to be great.
Greatness has never been achieved through seeking approval. Once you realize that self-love is the most important kind of love, then you can really start to reach outside of your comfort zone and take the action steps towards greatness. Who cares what everyone else thinks? If you are just trying to seem important then you are only creating dependence, and dependence is not love. So, significance is not going to make you great, it will only get you a whole bunch of approval, I don’t know about you but I don’t want to just be satisfactory. I want to be great.
Wishing you all the success you will allow yourselves to have!